CASH AND CARRY DEPARTMENT
By Bobby Rodham La Douche’
Why do people have to tell you that their dog or dogs are rescue animals? Do they want a prize? Are they seeking special notoriety because of their selfless act? Should we all examine ourselves and wonder why we suck and they don’t?
I understand that we are all being encouraged to have a Narcan syringe with us so if we come across a heroine overdose we can save them. Shall we put the Narcan syringe next to our epi-pen? Where do we keep the defibrillator? Will our Life Alert button still work? Is our cell phone preprogramed for 911? More importantly where’s the Xanax?
I saw Dennis Miller the other night doing his stand up and he said that “commercial airline travel is shit. In fact, it is more shit than shit is.” It cannot be stated any better than this.
The colon moves north to south. Keep this in mind when you plan your next adventure in there.
Tail wags dog. Docs handing out opioids for whatever by the ton. People dying all over from overdoses. Result: Legitimate patient with horrible back pain or injuries cannot get a pain pill other than Advil from MD. Patient seeks relief through illegal drugs and dies of overdose.
Looney Tune cartoons were great. Disney cartoons were CRAP.
Steamboat Mickey blows.
One-real constant. Guys get great fun from farting through their entire life. Government has not found a way to tax it or stop it.
An explosion or Big Bang created the universe. What exploded?
Isn’t it about time that Captain Crunch becomes Admiral Crunch?
If you read the various incarnations of the wedding vows you will never find a disclaimer, there will only be liars.
Hate to dispel the pc world. Since Africa is where human kind began the only place in the world with native people is Africa. The world filled in from there.
It is easier to disarm North Korea than cancel your Direct TV.
I find it interesting that the Catholic Church says it is a mortal sin to commit suicide and therefore you will be punished. Didn’t Jesus commit suicide by police?
Last but not least. “I don’t care what you do honey, I just want you to be happy” is code for “I didn’t think it possible to be this stupid”.
Bobby Rodham La Douche’