By Bobby Wishbone La Douche’
This years Thanksgiving Day was the earliest date in the month that it can ever be. November 22nd. Over the last few years we have had variable changes with our guests. Last year our son and daughter in law upped and went to Las Vegas for the holiday. Our daughter and son in law went to his parent’s house. So, it was me and my wife Gwyneth. We added my brother Fondue and his wife Nova (an award-winning artist) to our depleted guest list because their kids had other plans too. Because Nova is a vegetarian and gluten free it laid out some interesting label reading prior to the event. Worked for me as we were having prime rib and I didn’t have to share that extra hunk. We had a nice time and enjoyed the fireplace and foolish banter.
Only one year later the variable changes continue. My son Hubert is getting divorced so he has his own apartment now. He was able to come by himself this year. Wasn’t a good day for him. My daughter who is also having trouble with her husband, let’s call him The Wanderer, came over with our grandson less The Wanderer. So, the family guest list is a total of 5 from a potential 9. Gwyneth made a magnificent 21-pound antibiotic loaded and hormone laden turkey that had 3 legs, an extra hole of strange origin, and the extra beaks, eyeballs and feet I ordered. My wife enjoyed the extra hole in the hull of the bird since it allowed even more stuffing to go in. The dinner was fab and all were full. Bags of turkey got filled and frozen for another day. My daughter Bezoar helped with the massive clean-up. Everybody left in peace and I was sad for Hubert.
These life changing situations that people seem to head for with reckless abandon, are not just difficult for the combatants, but for us parents and friends. Gwyn and I are trying to be realistic about the life changes made by our children and what it really means for them and us. I, Bobby Wishbone La Douche’ am a black and white person living in a very gray world. People like me struggle in this very compromised me first world. Right-wrong, good-bad, nice-nasty got trampled in 2018. It’s easy to get caught up in the dark side and then I gathered some strength in a revelation that came in the form of a car ride. I was heading to a meeting and I selected an album on my 160 GB iPod. The mother of all iPods. Inside Job by Don Henley. The last song came up and it’s called My Thanksgiving. I won’t paraphrase the lyrics as it would be a criminal act. So here in almost its entirety are the words which can change a person. Don Henley writes:
Now the trouble with you and me, my friend is the trouble with this nation.
Too many blessings, too little appreciation
And I know that kind of notion -well, it just ain’t cool
So, send me back to Sunday school
Because I’m tired of waiting for reason to arrive
It’s too long we’ve been living
These unexamined lives
I’ve got great expectations
I’ve got family and friends
I’ve got satisfying work
I’ve got a back that bends
For every breath, for every day of living
This is my Thanksgiving
Have you every noticed that an angry man
Can only get so far
Until he reconciles the way he thinks things
Ought to be
With the way things are
Here in this fragmented world, I still believe
In learning how to give love, and how to receive it
And I would be among those who abuse this privilege
Sometimes you get the best light from a burning bridge
And I don’t mind saying that I still love it all
I wallowed in the springtime
Now I’m welcoming the fall
For every moment of joy
Every hour of fear
For every winding road that brought me here
For every breath, for every day of living
This is my Thanksgiving
What is our Thanksgiving going to look like in 2019? More changes? More happiness? More celebration? I’m sure I don’t know much but I know absolutely one thing, and that is counting on Gwyneth in every way, every day. Full report next November.
I lamented that I had no legs until I saw the 12-year-old without a PlayStation.
Good Day!
Bobby Wishbone La Douche’