Get Out of Jail Free
By Bobby The Judge La Douche’
Lots of people have been fired from their jobs for saying “All Lives Matter” instead of Black Lives Matter. I have a different viewpoint. I’ve made a list of people who don’t matter. The world would be better off with them dead. It’s difficult to make a list that would be in concert with yours so don’t think my list is by importance or correctly positioned. I don’t work that hard at staging by degree.
Here’s the list of people who don’t matter and should not exist. Pedophiles (This is truly the number one of people who should be dead)
Terrorists
Drug dealers
Human traffickers
Rapists
Murderers
Thieves
Telemarketers
Communists
Socialists
Manhattan Liberal Press
Con artists
Abusers (physical and mental)
Cable and Satellite TV sales staff
Toilet paper hoarders
People who desecrate memorials
Looters
Everybody on Death Row
Men who put their hands behind their head when they pee
DMV employees
Robbers
People who have more stuff than I do
Fathers who abandon their bastards
Incompetent physicians
Hollywood elite
Ass kissers
People who don’t pick up their dog shit
Old bald guys who let the sides and back of their hair grow long or
have, God forbid, a pony tail.
People who are above McDonalds
Parents who expect teachers to parent
Weasels
Everybody at the Clinton Global Initiative
People you just meet and within two minutes tell you their kid is a
Ph.D.
People who wear a protective face mask around their neck
This list may be incomplete but as you review it you do realize that all lives don’t matter. Some people or groups on the list may be there for amusement but most are not. If you make your own list you will feel better and maybe your colon will unplug. Sit down and enjoy.
PS. I’m going downtown and am going to paint “All Lives Don’t
Matter” on Main Street and let’s see how many letters I get done
before I get killed by peaceful protestors.
Bobby La Douche’