Let’s start out with a couple of jokes. I did not write these and am not claiming so. They are still very funny and here they are.
Rodney Dangerfield: I have bad luck. I put a kidney shaped pool in my back yard and it had a stone.
McDoogle: There are 10 naked men in front of you. How do you know which one is the Hamburglar?
The one with the sesame seed buns.
Economic Tip
I lived by this tip my entire life and it helped me understand how to prepare for failure. Buy high sell low.
Tipping Frenzy
Gladys and I were visiting friends in Denver. They are Claudette and Angus. We went to a hip pizza place for drinks and pizza with Claudette and Angus’s kids and grandkids. The bill came and at the lower portion of the bill was a line for the tip. Another line for a Living wage tip. And finally, a line for a Going Green tip. Plus, the amounts necessary for a 20%, 22%, or 25% tip. A couple of things are wrong here. Since the Biden economic plan has taken hold, everything on the menu has gone up 40%. So, in effect, the servers have received a 40% raise on their tips. All of these server positions are part-time with no benefits so the owners are saving a bundle and this ties into the Living wage tip. If you are working 20 hours a week, should we add a 50% tip to make you a whole FTE (Full Time Equivalent). The going green tip is pure gay liberal crap. Here’s a green tip for you: Wipe your butt with the used napkins from the restaurant. Grind up these used napkins by hand and use them for fertilizer for your pot plants at home. Table to farm. La Douche’ is here for you.
CDC is doing what?
Now that the CDC is a known political group the regular guy looking for some direction that has value is stuck in the mud. We have gone from counting the dead on a runner across the top of the TV screen (Republican president) to no information (Democratic president). As we enter the fall sickness season in a couple of months does anybody have information on boosters etc. Were these vaccines useful? Are boosters useful? Why aren’t people dying all over the place? How come researchers with other opinions were squashed? What about a definitive information plan along with a non-political set of facts? Let’s find a 99-year-old to lead us in this matter. Hopefully with a private agenda. Shit, I thought Feinstein would have been perfect.
FBI
The FBI has legally become a subsection of the DNC. When J Edgar started wearing dresses we just should have known.
WNBA
When I press the Google icon on my phone and look through the news it has become chock full of WNBA information. Nobody gives a shit, not even the lesbians. Just stop.
Hallmark Movies shoot for Diversity
Starting October 20th, The Hallmark Channel is starting its countdown to Christmas. In an effort to embrace diversity the first movie of the season will be The Lubricated Christmas Lover. It’s about two flaming flight attendants who meet at a homosexual drug-flavored orgy in Barcelona during the holidays. The romance gains traction until Monkey Pox……………………….
Recreational Pot
Lots of states such as Colorado have approved recreational pot use. Most people there think it’s done nothing good for the wellbeing of the state. At the onset of this freedom, thousands of jobless potheads moved to Colorado. This has to be the desire of any state. Essentially the pot traffic in these states has forced a black market for the goods as the dispensary costs are very high, no pun intended. They cannot begin to control the nontaxable underground market. As the losers cook runaway animals on their makeshift cooking utensils in their tent city, they can still get high, rob, steal, and kill each other. Tell your kids that they shouldn’t pick up the syringes on the ground next to the poop.
Mushrooms
What could possibly go wrong as we now try to approve the use of hallucinogenic mushrooms?
Climate Change Policy for the US
Sorry, but nothing the United States will do or implement can change the climate issues now or to come. China, India, and Africa are utilizing fossil fuels because they have to. Buying your $120,000 electric pickup will do absolutely nothing and in fact spread more pollution than a gas model due to their massive weight wearing the tires and brakes faster. Rubber and ceramic dust everywhere. Get real with your holier-than-thou attitude. I have to go now and light my propane fireplace for our guests. Crapmagazine.com is a staunch supporter of private jet use.
Car/Truck Prices
The average car payment is now over $1000 a month. Who is actually buying these cars? Now that the car loan interest rates are 9% or so this can’t be a good combination. The average new car price is $48,808. Put 10% down Let’s say with tax and such you finance $45K. $813 PER MONTH. My first new car was a 1973 Vega GT. 3-year loan, $54 per month. I was sweating that one.
White House Saves Big Money for Taxpayers
Press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre (Peter Pan) has announced that President Biden has agreed to use lower-priced adult diapers for the rest of his term to help fight government spending. It seems that Karine will pick up bulk diapers at her regular visits to Costco as part of her normal duties. Total savings $47.84 for 2023. $112.00 for 2024.
Archduke La Douche’
I have gone to court to legally become an Archduke as I identify as an Archduke.
La Douche’