Advice from Bobby La Douche’

(Mr. La Douche has no credentials in any area, so travel at your own risk)

 

Dear Bobby,

  I have been struggling for years with my son “Greggy” to get him to move out of my house and start his own life.  He is 39 and works part time at a vape and smoke shop.  My wife still does his laundry and cleans his space in the basement.  I pay for his car insurance his cell phone, and he eats our food.  He has started college, which we paid for, several times but always seems to lose interest and we believe he smokes a lot of pot.  How can we establish a new beginning for “Greggy” and get him to act like an adult?

 

Thank you,

On the Edge in Chicago

 

Dear on the Edge,

  You must be one of those Baby Boomer parents who wanted to be a buddy to your kid.  You, like a lot of your generation, did well economically but you really are idiots when it comes to raising your children.  Your job, you imbecile, was to develop your child into a responsible individual by setting goals and standards of behavior during their formative years.  You tolerated and even enjoyed it when your little bastard was mouthing off to you. There was no sense of a work ethic instilled because you thought “Greggy” should have more fun than you did when you were his age. You are his friend and the Grand Enabler. 

As far as trying to get him to act like an adult this ship has sailed.  He is a loser crafted by you and your stupid wife.  You weren’t even smart enough to make him your butler and get him to serve you while you offer him food and lodging. “Greggy” is now going to wait to pick up the estate after you and mommy croak or murder you because there was no beer in his refrigerator. 

You make me sick!

 

Bobby La Douche’