Bobby’s Advice Column
I would certainly like to answer all the letters I receive from my readers. Most are dreadfully boring. I try and pick ones that are of real value to all.
Disclaimer: I am not a qualified life coach nor a counselor. Take my advice at your own risk.
Dear Bobby,
As a white person, I have become racked with guilt over the privilege of being white. My father was a school bus driver and my mother worked as a dry cleaner. Every year I was blessed with a vacation to a lake. Now I see that my well-being came at the expense of slavery. As I see people looting and burning buildings, I can only blame myself and I cry all the time. I don’t have enough self-esteem to go out and protest with the others so instead I have been sending half my salary to the Black Lives Matter Fund and the Democratic party. I still feel guilty for not doing enough. I write this to ask you what more can I be doing to rid myself of this guilt.
Stuck in Neutral,
Kiki Molinski
Dear Kiki,
This is quite an interesting problem you have here Miss Molinski. Let’s do some drilling down into the fecal pile that is your guilt. As far as I know, there were no Polish people who owned slaves in this country. In fact, many Polish immigrants came to America after slavery was abolished and worked the fields that the slaves had been working. The local black field workers called the polish field workers “niggahs” (per Google). The blacks were paid more than the polish. Polish people were slaves all over Europe for years.
As the drill goes down, I can say that your parents did not exactly win the lottery when it came to their careers. Being a school bus driver and taking care of all those snot makers must have been excruciating. With your mother working as a dry cleaner she must have really enjoyed the beastly hot conditions, especially in the summer.
Your yearly vacation to the lake, albeit a huge deal for you, is a grain of sand on the guilt scale.
As far as you blaming yourself for the looting and burning, I would direct you to a psychiatrist because you are quite disturbed. Looters should be shot on sight. It’s a criminal act and it does nothing to promote dialogue between the races. In fact, it does the opposite.
Miss Kiki, do you know where the money goes that you send to the Black Lives Matter Fund? In 2019, 25% went for salaries, 46% went to “consultants” and they would not disclose where the last 29% went to. Many speculate that it goes to the Democratic party. I suggest that your money would be better utilized by wiping your butt with it or give it to a local entity that actually does something in your community for people in need.
Giving money to the Democratic party is nothing more than promoting the oppression of the blacks. They were the party of the slave owners. They like to keep the blacks dependent on them as their savior. Or the money gets used for more hair plugs for Biden. The only presidential candidate ever that had more hair at 77 than at 37.
I am very sorry for your whiteness and its hideous effect on your well-being. Being white must be of high value though as Michael Jackson bleached himself to be white. Keep your chin up Miss Molinski, this is not a time for regret. That’s what anniversaries are for.
PS: Work on your tan.
Bobby Blanco La Douche’