By Bobby Anniversary La Douche’
Many people have asked me how I’ve managed to stay married for 46 years. Bobby, they say, that is quite something in this era of instant gratification and the fixation on the “me”. This little question is just the start of the adventure. Have you noticed over the past few years you hear or see the word communication in just about every conversation and news article related to human interaction? We need more communication in our marriage they say. How to communicate better. How to avoid conflict through better communication. You are not getting along because you are not communicating effectively. I don’t know what you want. You don’t know what I want. My needs are not being met. I don’t know what you mean. I never saw that before. Who did this? I thought you liked that. You never told me that. How can we move forward if you don’t listen? How come you don’t listen? I listen all the time but I get bored in the middle. Are you married to me or that phone? Ask Alexa she can answer your questions. Companies send thousands of people to seminars on this subject. So, the buzzword is communication. The better and more understood the information is that you pass on the better your life will be. You will flourish in your relationships and life will be happier and healthier.
What a crock of shit. Let me clarify for all you face bookers and texters and tweeters and tik tockers. Gladys and I can drive for hours without talking. This is because we are comfortable in our quietness. There doesn’t have to be white noise and useless conversation droning for miles. She can sit there and think about whatever she wants to. I can do the same. If she thinks of something to talk about, we can engage and I can do the same. We are not nervous because the talking form of communication has stopped, we are just content. I love her and she loves me. I don’t need an Alexa I have a Gladys.
Knowing every minute detail of everybody’s exaggerated prime time Facebook life is exhausting and drains the life right out of you. It sets you up for anxiety that is really not yours to have or need to have. People don’t have to reveal themselves to everybody and leave nothing to the imagination. Of the thousands of hours of drivel, I have been forced to listen to just to survive, I can stand tall not knowing that your dad buys the wrong paprika at the grocery store. Hear less, talk less, need less, text less, be less because less is more. As much as I know about Gladys, she should have the right to privacy of what is her life. I enjoy being let in and she enjoys what I bring to the table. Here we are 50 some years later and we know just enough to make it work. Less is more. Less is more. Less is more. Wash, rinse and don’t repeat.
Bobby Anniversary La Douche’
I’m hosting a new pod cast this fall called Shut the Hell Up.