La Douche’ and The Retirement Enema
By: Bobby Out of the Office La Douche’
February 28th, 2019 was my last day of work. I decided that my colon was just plain full and it needed to rest. I had a turd in every pocket. My employer was very generous and sent me off in royal fashion. A fab dinner party and a gift certificate that is enabling Gladys and I to go first class on an Alaskan cruise this summer. Other friends were very good to me and I won’t forget it.
On March 2nd we left for our estate at The Villages, Florida. We reached our lengthy circular driveway on March 3rd. Before unloading the car, I rushed into the house in a full sweat and decompressed my lower intestine. This was different though. It was joyous and unyielding. My nervous system started to uncoil and the tilt light in my brain went out. This will be forever known as “the retirement enema”. My eyes lifted up to the dusty vent fan in the ceiling and I said “is it really over dad?” Off in the distance I heard what I thought was a “yes” accompanied by church organ notes. Yes, indeed!
One of the things that you think about at this point in life is that you only have a quarter to an eighth of a tank left and did you have an accomplished life. What is an accomplished life? In the swimming pool that is life, were you a swimmer, a treader, or an anchor? I even asked a psychotherapist what an accomplished life was. He said it is different for everybody dependent on a person’s nature and abilities. So, it’s really a judgment call. An internal compass. When will I know?
It wasn’t long until I found out. The other day Gladys and I were in our golf cart coming back home from a lovely time at the course. She turned to me and said “Thanks for busting your ass for all those years so we can do this.” And I responded “We both did.” That is the finest thing I ever heard said to me. I did have an accomplished life didn’t I. Miss Gladys thinks so. Question asked and answered your honor.
Bobby Villages La Douche’