Handpicked by Bobby La Douche’

 

Women Commits Suicide after Finding Out Price of Antidepressant

Chinese chef gets death sentence for making Peking Duck in Bejing

Pick your cruise ship for Bloody Mary’s or Bloody Diarrhea

Kamala Harris picks Carlo Rossi as 2028 Running Mate

JB Pritzker eats entire ICE Vehicle as protest against the Feds

Fred Flintstone voted Water Buffalo of the year

Costco now selling sides of beef. Members must have premium membership. Free meat thermometer

Subaru finally makes car for heterosexual men. The model will be called the La Douche’ and will have a straight 6 engine.

Members of a lesbian group kick out fellow members for getting bikini wax. ACLU is now involved

Congratulations! The batteries in your new electric car are obsolete.

Study says the people who carry their water jugs around like support animals are the most fucked up on earth

Pluto is still upset about not being a planet. Claiming DEI did not help at all

Still the case. Nobody likes clowns

In an effort to make airplane travel worse executives from the airlines are studying medieval torture techniques.

Transgender women penalized for having an erection during a volleyball game

Bill Clinton’s penis straightener up for auction at Southby’s. Proceeds to benefit the Clinton’s.

Harvard Researchers find that it is not possible to join the Mile High Club on a Boeing 737 bathroom

Jasmine Crockett has brain eating amoeba. It starved to death.

Vegan breaks wrist eating broccoli

NFL arranging game to be held in North Korea. Halftime will feature missile parade and executions

Nagasaki Dodgers beat Dominican Brewers for NL Pennant

They, them pronouns ditched for asshole or douche bag

Scientists determine that it takes 2,347 bowls of Kellog’s Raisin bran to equal 1 bowl Of Colon Blow cereal

Burger King files suit against No Kings protest group for damaging sales

George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts photographed in Paris at the same time as Louvre robbery…………..

Since toasters are built for bagels, it takes a ghastly amount of time to toast bread. To hell with going to Mars, just give me toasted bread in one minute.

Archduke Bobby La Douche’