Feel Better with CRAP
We are Crabby Retired American People (CRAP) bringing you writings that may provide you with information and observations that stimulate your little frog brain.
How-to & More
Learn how to make a good cocktail. Read a review about a movie or a new music release from someone you may like.
Movies, albums and other stuff will be graded on the time tested 1 CRAP pile to 5 CRAP piles.
Is it the end or the beginning………………?
Crap Magazine comes to you as an ending, the ending or near ending of 50 years of working, serving the wishes of others, being used, being enjoyed, being stressed, being the go to person, being the taxpayer that lets others never work, being the husband, being the dad, being the success, being the giver, being the right or wrong guy, being in love, being wrong, being a boss, being a son, being a brother, being an uncle, and being experienced in the joys and disappointments of dealing with humans.
Picture this as the food I ate through the years with CRAP Magazine as the toilet paper at the end of the alimentary canal.
I have assembled a mildly retarded (yup retarded) think tank to assist me in this endeavor. Burrhead is part of the dementia. He comes to me as a lifelong friend whom I respect and covet as a confidant. His brain was in a jar that said “Abby Normal”. Anybody who had a reel to reel tape deck in high school has to be part of this.
The third leg of the tripod is Derf Selrahc. A true entrepreneur in every sense. A well-known winemaker and winery owner. As the youngest, almost fetal member of this triangle he brings a bit of a stool softener to the Crabby Retired American People Magazine.
While there are three members with differing abilities and sensibilities I am in charge of this rag. I will answer to no one except my wife. We will comment or say whatever we want and am not very interested in whether you agree or not. I am detoxing from the fumes of 63 years of road kill.
Editor in Chief
Bobby La Douche’
November 2019 News for Crappers
November 2019 News for Crappers By Bobby Wilhelm Klink La Douche’ J Lo testifies to Congressional Committee: J Lo spent two hours testifying to a House Committee on the state of the #MeToo movement. She implored the committee members to make sure that women...
Advice from Bobby Life Coach La Douche’
Advice from Bobby Life Coach La Douche’ Bobby La Douche’ is an uncredentialed, untrained life coach. He is however an observer of the obvious. Dear Mr. La Douche’, I’ve never sought out advice before but I’m at wits end. Next week is Halloween and since my single...
News Shorts to Keep You in the Loop
By Award Winning reporter Bobby Prednisone La Douche’ Millennial finds another use for Face Time: Shamrock Odom reports that you don’t have to use a mirror anymore in the bathroom. Just Face Time yourself and you won’t have to put down your phone. In...
Morons in our Midst
Morons in our Midst This country is possessed with managing minutia. The government should not be the answer for everything however the liberal forces here are using card tricks to divert you to be overwhelmed by stupid shit. The current soup de jour is vaping....
KetchusifuKan
Bobby and Gladys Cruise to Alaska This is my first travel assignment. I figured my opinion was just as good or better as some travel advisor on the take. We signed up for the Princess Cruise to Alaska which started in Seattle and ended in Seattle one...
Before You Say the Wrong Thing…….
By Fearless Bobby La Douche’ All of my life when people were angry enough and provoked enough at another human eventually the words “fuck you” would spill out with vigor and in high octane. Then, the reply would be “ahhhh… fuck you” and/or “go fuck...
SIGNS for THOUGHT(Less)
Perhaps I’ve walked around my neighborhood a few hundred times. I get a sample of intelligence and management skills as I look around their homes and driveways. In the happy time called summer, signs can appear in the yards which help me make decisions about...
Grandpa Bobby, I have a question.
Many times, my grandson asks me questions, that while simple, can be difficult to answer. The other day this happened. Grandpa, what is a democrat? Hmmmmm…. Well Tommy, a democrat is a person who expects to get one fish a day to keep him fed. He goes to a place or...
La Douche’ Tackles the Tough Questions
(“it didn’t cost me nuthin” says Bobby L) June is LGBTQ month. The Wisconsin governor had the rainbow diversity flag hung up at the state capital to indicate the State of Wisconsin is inclusive. So first the American flag, then the Wisconsin State flag, then the...
Bobby La Douche’ Presents the News Blurbs of Today
Bernie Sanders has produced another plank for the Democratic Party Platform for 2020. Comrade Sanders wants to give all African-Americans 3 votes each as part of a reparation’s settlement. Illegal Hispanic immigrants will get 1.5 votes each as they are being...