Feel Better with CRAP
We are Crabby Retired American People (CRAP) bringing you writings that may provide you with information and observations that stimulate your little frog brain.
How-to & More
Learn how to make a good cocktail. Read a review about a movie or a new music release from someone you may like.
Movies, albums and other stuff will be graded on the time tested 1 CRAP pile to 5 CRAP piles.
Is it the end or the beginning………………?
Crap Magazine comes to you as an ending, the ending or near ending of 50 years of working, serving the wishes of others, being used, being enjoyed, being stressed, being the go to person, being the taxpayer that lets others never work, being the husband, being the dad, being the success, being the giver, being the right or wrong guy, being in love, being wrong, being a boss, being a son, being a brother, being an uncle, and being experienced in the joys and disappointments of dealing with humans.
Picture this as the food I ate through the years with CRAP Magazine as the toilet paper at the end of the alimentary canal.
I have assembled a mildly retarded (yup retarded) think tank to assist me in this endeavor. Burrhead is part of the dementia. He comes to me as a lifelong friend whom I respect and covet as a confidant. His brain was in a jar that said “Abby Normal”. Anybody who had a reel to reel tape deck in high school has to be part of this.
The third leg of the tripod is Derf Selrahc. A true entrepreneur in every sense. A well-known winemaker and winery owner. As the youngest, almost fetal member of this triangle he brings a bit of a stool softener to the Crabby Retired American People Magazine.
While there are three members with differing abilities and sensibilities I am in charge of this rag. I will answer to no one except my wife. We will comment or say whatever we want and am not very interested in whether you agree or not. I am detoxing from the fumes of 63 years of road kill.
Editor in Chief
Bobby La Douche’
Advice from Bobby La Douche’ (uncredentialed life coach)
Advice from Bobby La Douche’ (uncredentialed life coach) Dear Mr. La Douche’, I’ve always found your column helpful and never thought I would be writing you on my behalf. My wife and I have lived in our two-story home independently for over 45...
True Stories from an Altar Boy
True Stories from an Altar Boy by Bobby Jesus La Douche’ This is bits and pieces of actual events that I experienced as a young altar boy. I will first say that no priest, nun or lay person in the Catholic school I attended ever did anything...
POLITIKS
POLITIKS By Comrade Boris La Douche’ I have been restrained by common sense up to this point. I was trying to sort of stay away from politics in order to keep the peace. Then I realized that no one is being considerate of me. After all this is me...
THERE IS A SILENT PLAGUE AFOOT
THERE IS A SILENT PLAGUE AFOOT By Bobby La Douche’ With the blistering speed of internet and 24-hour news, we are in a constant stir about North Korea, shootings, climate, politics, Russia, Trump, race, Islam, and CEO’s playing poke the monkey in...
The Ben Dover Files
The Ben Dover Files (stories are without lubricant) Reporter: Bobby Springtime La Douche’ Recently I was reminded of the complete shafting you get when you take the fam on the pilgrimage to pay homage to the Mouse. Don Henley referred to him as...
Horror in The Villages (So hideous it cannot be fiction)
Horror in The Villages (So hideous it cannot be fiction) By Bobby La Douche’ It was a mother out there. Needed gills to breathe. The temp ticked up to 98 degrees as we drove to The Villages, Florida Walmart. As I turned into the parking lot I thanked...
Bullshit for the Soul
Bullshit for the Soul I drove over to Walmart and picked up some stuff. I went to self-checkout and didn’t like the service I received. Went to discuss the poor service with the manager. He proceeded to tell me that my behavior is counter to good...
Father’s Day 2018
There was a line in the movie Parenthood which is the best description of being a father ever written. Steve Martin said “my whole life is have to”. In our time and our day, fathers put their own needs and dreams down or threw them out entirely to make a...
CASH AND CARRY DEPARTMENT
CASH AND CARRY DEPARTMENT By Bobby Rodham La Douche’ Why do people have to tell you that their dog or dogs are rescue animals? Do they want a prize? Are they seeking special notoriety because of their selfless act? Should we all examine ourselves and...
WORK UNTIL 70? Don’t collect your social security until 70? It’s a crock of shit!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read in AARP Magazine and other news articles about how great it is to work until 70 years of age. How desirable you are as an employee because of your experience and know how. A big picture of some geezer mentoring a...