Feel Better with CRAP
We are Crabby Retired American People (CRAP) bringing you writings that may provide you with information and observations that stimulate your little frog brain.
How-to & More
Learn how to make a good cocktail. Read a review about a movie or a new music release from someone you may like.
Movies, albums and other stuff will be graded on the time tested 1 CRAP pile to 5 CRAP piles.
Is it the end or the beginning………………?
Crap Magazine comes to you as an ending, the ending or near ending of 50 years of working, serving the wishes of others, being used, being enjoyed, being stressed, being the go to person, being the taxpayer that lets others never work, being the husband, being the dad, being the success, being the giver, being the right or wrong guy, being in love, being wrong, being a boss, being a son, being a brother, being an uncle, and being experienced in the joys and disappointments of dealing with humans.
Picture this as the food I ate through the years with CRAP Magazine as the toilet paper at the end of the alimentary canal.
I have assembled a mildly retarded (yup retarded) think tank to assist me in this endeavor. Burrhead is part of the dementia. He comes to me as a lifelong friend whom I respect and covet as a confidant. His brain was in a jar that said “Abby Normal”. Anybody who had a reel to reel tape deck in high school has to be part of this.
The third leg of the tripod is Derf Selrahc. A true entrepreneur in every sense. A well-known winemaker and winery owner. As the youngest, almost fetal member of this triangle he brings a bit of a stool softener to the Crabby Retired American People Magazine.
While there are three members with differing abilities and sensibilities I am in charge of this rag. I will answer to no one except my wife. We will comment or say whatever we want and am not very interested in whether you agree or not. I am detoxing from the fumes of 63 years of road kill.
Editor in Chief
Bobby La Douche’
Bullshit for the Soul
Bullshit for the Soul I drove over to Walmart and picked up some stuff. I went to self-checkout and didn’t like the service I received. Went to discuss the poor service with the manager. He proceeded to tell me that my behavior is counter to good...
Father’s Day 2018
There was a line in the movie Parenthood which is the best description of being a father ever written. Steve Martin said “my whole life is have to”. In our time and our day, fathers put their own needs and dreams down or threw them out entirely to make a...
CASH AND CARRY DEPARTMENT
CASH AND CARRY DEPARTMENT By Bobby Rodham La Douche’ Why do people have to tell you that their dog or dogs are rescue animals? Do they want a prize? Are they seeking special notoriety because of their selfless act? Should we all examine ourselves and...
WORK UNTIL 70? Don’t collect your social security until 70? It’s a crock of shit!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read in AARP Magazine and other news articles about how great it is to work until 70 years of age. How desirable you are as an employee because of your experience and know how. A big picture of some geezer mentoring a...
6 Degrees of Fecal Separation
6 Degrees of Fecal Separation I have always been intrigued with the despair and horror of stories related to feces. We make believe that there is no such thing and I take great delight in telling anyone that will listen that it’s everywhere. Below is a...
More Advice from Bobby La Douche’ (non-credentialed life coach)
More Advice from Bobby La Douche’ (non-credentialed life coach) Dear Bobby, I need some advice! My baby daddy “Calvin” wants to go on a vacation. He said he is very stressed out after watching his child “Barry” in the afternoon while I work two...
Advice from Bobby La Douche’
Advice from Bobby La Douche’ (Mr. La Douche has no credentials in any area, so travel at your own risk) Dear Bobby, I have been struggling for years with my son “Greggy” to get him to move out of my house and start his own life. He is 39 and works...
$15.00 per hour………Ahhhh NO!
$15.00 per hour………Ahhhh NO! The future CEO of McDonalds presented me with my fish sandwich recently. I believe in the handbook it states to put the cheese on the top of the fish in the center of the bun. There was no tartar sauce either. A...
Boycott the NFL in 2018
Boycott the NFL in 2018 They are Full of Crap by Bobby La Douche’ Murderers, wife beaters, rapists, serial bastard producers, drug addicts, drunken drivers. Am I at the gates of San Quentin? Why no. This is the NFL. When you...
What the CRAP Is Going On Here?
Why are so many politicians rich? How did they gain such great wealth while being “civil servants”? Seven of the top ten (nos. 1-6) richest congress(wo)men and senators are self-made multi-millionaires and made their scratch in the real world before they...