Feel Better with CRAP
We are Crabby Retired American People (CRAP) bringing you writings that may provide you with information and observations that stimulate your little frog brain.
How-to & More
Learn how to make a good cocktail. Read a review about a movie or a new music release from someone you may like.
Movies, albums and other stuff will be graded on the time tested 1 CRAP pile to 5 CRAP piles.
Is it the end or the beginning………………?
Crap Magazine comes to you as an ending, the ending or near ending of 50 years of working, serving the wishes of others, being used, being enjoyed, being stressed, being the go to person, being the taxpayer that lets others never work, being the husband, being the dad, being the success, being the giver, being the right or wrong guy, being in love, being wrong, being a boss, being a son, being a brother, being an uncle, and being experienced in the joys and disappointments of dealing with humans.
Picture this as the food I ate through the years with CRAP Magazine as the toilet paper at the end of the alimentary canal.
I have assembled a mildly retarded (yup retarded) think tank to assist me in this endeavor. Burrhead is part of the dementia. He comes to me as a lifelong friend whom I respect and covet as a confidant. His brain was in a jar that said “Abby Normal”. Anybody who had a reel to reel tape deck in high school has to be part of this.
The third leg of the tripod is Derf Selrahc. A true entrepreneur in every sense. A well-known winemaker and winery owner. As the youngest, almost fetal member of this triangle he brings a bit of a stool softener to the Crabby Retired American People Magazine.
While there are three members with differing abilities and sensibilities I am in charge of this rag. I will answer to no one except my wife. We will comment or say whatever we want and am not very interested in whether you agree or not. I am detoxing from the fumes of 63 years of road kill.
Editor in Chief
Bobby La Douche’
The Bathroom Controversy
The Bathroom Controversy There has been much hoopla about where various people should go to the bathroom in public places. Every micro group in the US has a claim or need to have their own place to excrete. I represent the downtrodden heterosexual male...
WINE-O or WINE Snob
Wine-o “an individual who enjoys drinking wine more than most ~ Urban Dictionary Wine Snob “belief that other people are inferior to them... they know more or think they know more about wine” ~ Wine Spectator, Ask Dr. Vinny I have had the luxury of...
Nova Czarnecki
In all my years I have never seen artwork as striking and moving as the works of Nova Czarnecki. I have several of her works in my home and our guests just love to walk about and take them all in. This past summer she completed two lovely murals in the...
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU GET THE ALARM THAT YOU ARE UNDER NUCLEAR ATTACK
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU GET THE ALARM THAT YOU ARE UNDER NUCLEAR ATTACK Retrieve lawn chairs and set up on front lawn Set up sound system in front of lawn chairs and put your favorite music on Get ice bucket with ice and bottle of favorite booze in your...
Happy Holidays 2017
Dear People I Know, I would like to start by discrediting all stories related to my reported groping, fondling, touching, kissing, and making suggestive comments to any piles of $100 bills which may or may not have been within my view. I have always...
Contemporary Advice from Bobby La Douche’
Contemporary Advice from Bobby La Douche’ (Mr. La Douche has no credentials related to any subject. Travel at your own risk) Dear Mr. LaDouche’, My name is “Heather”. I am an attractive 26-year-old educated single female with enormous breasts and long...