POLITIKS
By Comrade Boris La Douche’
I have been restrained by common sense up to this point. I was trying to sort of stay away from politics in order to keep the peace. Then I realized that no one is being considerate of me. After all this is me time. I have waited and waited for me time and while it’s not quite really here I feel the magnetic pull of retirement soothing my aches and pains. Kind of an MRI for the soul. I hope that me time comes without a wheelchair or shitting in a diaper. My wife Nika and I have raised two children that pay taxes and go to work. I suffer everyday serving the man and now I want to be served. I look off in the distance (a shorter by the day distance) and see a table that has a reservation sign on it and a small Waterford crystal vase with real flowers. It’s says it’s for me. My table. Table for two weary life travelers. So, without regard for everybody else I will sample and comment on today’s bullshit.
In politics only two groups win or lose with each election. It’s the folks on the government teat and the very wealthy. The rest of us might as well live in anarchy. Don’t get all jittery because some dick is going to get elected. Your life will not change. You, as the mainstay of society, will not know what happened. Your pants are already around your ankles. Leave them there.
Trump has created an entire industry that pays people to carry on about him. He got elected because the people with their pants around there ankles heard some promises they liked. Apparently, he has no fear of what people think. No one will accuse Donald Trump of being a great orator or quick witted. In modern history it was John Kennedy who lowered the bar on whoring standards and Bill Clinton who made it an art form. Trump is another piece of shit that has cheated on his wives. High moral standards are only an option for presidents and its only important to the party who’s not in office. The weasels are everywhere.
I have solved the problem of thousands of illegal immigrants flooding in from the south. All the people who have time to wander around and protest (probably on the government teat) that the US does not open its doors freely to these people, should sponsor the immigrants. Go to the border, gather up a bunch of freeloaders, and provide your new bestest buddies with lodging, food, education, medical insurance, and jobs. You will take legal responsibility for your group until they die or you die. The government will allow you to use them as deductions. Problem solved.
In a related matter the proposed wall with Mexico according to the Democrats will cost $66.6 billion dollars. The distance of the US Mexican border is 1954 miles or 10,317,120 feet. If you place three staggered rows of landmines along this border you would use 15,475,680 mines at $30 each (high end units). Cost would be $464,270,400 for materials. Let’s spitball a labor cost which could be really low if we use the illegal immigrants to install them at $100,000,000. $1,000,000 for labor and $99,000,000 for Congressional office remodeling. Total cost to protect border $564,270,400. That would save about $66 billion dollars. Give that money to the prison system so they can buy Kobe beef for the inmates. Problem solved.
The Russians are coming! The idea that false or misleading Facebook jumble will change the way you vote is CRAP. I would still like to see the video of prostitutes peeing on Trump in Moscow. I bet Hillary was one of them. Don’t worry about Putin and the Russians as they are third world. All the stuff they build is put together by drunks who get little or no money to do it. Except for vodka have you ever seen a product in the US for sale from Russia? Keep that in mind when you think Russia can rig the election. No real problem here.
Artificial Intelligence. Now here’s some potential trouble for the professionals. I believe that most doctors that do not physically interact with patients such as surgeons will be replaced by computers. Nurse Practitioners and Physician Assistants will see the patient and consult with “AI” to order the various tests to inject some humanity in the process. That data will be given to the “AI” and the machine will determine what’s wrong with you and order a course of treatment. You can make the machine smarter with new data through software upgrades and the machine doesn’t have to go to Hawaii for continuing education. Same can be said for accountants, lawyers, engineers, architects, and certainly financial planners. The future is going back to the egg. Jobs requiring manual skills will be the bomb. Electricians, plumbers, carpenters, and the like will be always working and the Brainiac’s will be replaced by a microchip. They can go sit in the bars all day and curse the rich carpenters for having all the money and not buying American cars.
Stocks: Don’t buy Harley-Davidson stock as there is not a lot of educated young people who will spend $25,000 for a motorcycle. It’s currently being supported by the baby boomers who will be dying off sooner or later or too weak to handle the 800pound chrome gorilla. Not many 5-foot Asians can handle this bike so that market is CRAP. It doesn’t matter where they build it. The market will vanish like the land line phone.
Signing up for the end: Let’s pick an age. Say your 60 years old and have been determined to have a good mind and able to make decisions. I would like to determine when I get put down. My train of thought right now is that when I break the plane and need assisted living I should be able to die. Start an IV and let her rip. Assisted living is massively expensive and simply drains whatever money you might have away. If you graduate from Assisted Living and get the grand prize which is the nursing home the ante goes up to $10K-$12K per month. At some point your neighbors get to pay for your gruesome care. If your family comes to visit they count the seconds until they can leave. They won’t be able to get enough of you begging them to take you home or to kill you. I want to sign up now for the winning lottery ticket. I want to prepay, pre-sign and end the bullshit of life without any meaning. I should be able to do this on my terms while I have the competence to do so. I’ll even let the government keep my $255 social security death benefit.
Social Security: Chants of it will end or go broke by some certain date should be reviewed. Life expectancy is going to be going backward with the trends of obesity, drug use, video game use and general stress levels off the graph. It has gone down in each of the last two years. This will relieve some of the fiscal load. This subject is tied into the paragraph above. Let people decide when they are done with all this fun. Every other taxing authority raises taxes and fees whenever needed. Why would social security be any different?
Lastly let’s visit the marriage scene. Most of the marriages today will end in divorce because people are more concerned with the me and not the you. Parents borrow money and pull savings out to have a great big event complete with flying birds, trolleys, string sections, huge cakes, bands, DJ’s, fancy venues, and lots and lots of booze. The party becomes a blur and within a few months or years the couple who cleaned out the bank account for you is now telling you they are not happy. “I’m just not happy.” Wait a minute you two, let’s revisit your wedding vows which is in fact a solemn promise. Read and read them some more. Is anything in life eternally joyous? Wake up and smell the stool.
Bestest Regards,
Bobby La Douche’