The Rumpus Room
By Bobby Sherpa La Douche’
The Presidential Debate: September 29, 2020:
Remove the top of your blender. Add 16 ounces of gasoline. Use premium if you can. Add 2 pounds of human feces preferably with nuts. Put top on blender and mix for 20 seconds or until mixture is blended well and color is vibrant. Remove lid and light the mixture with a match. Turn on high and enjoy. Once mixture has completely escaped the container the debate is over.
Face Masks
The overall stupidity of adults in this country is quite grand. MASK GOES OVER YOUR NOSE AND MOUTH YOU FUCKING IMBECILES! In a related manner the mask below the chin isn’t good either.
Right to Own a Gun:
Earlier in my lifetime I was ambivalent to gun ownership. The hoopla about the right to own a gun seemed a waste of time. After all people with guns are shooting each other regularly and I could understand why a lot of folks want to get rid of guns. Add the school shootings and off we go. In 2019, 15,292 people were fatally shot in the US. Ban guns, ban guns. I have a feeling that most of these shootings were by people who are forbidden to have guns. In 2019, 38,800 people were killed in auto accidents. Nobody wants to ban cars. In reality most people who own guns legally don’t cause any problems.
Conceal carry laws in various states that caused such a backlash about the impending shoot outs proved to be nonsense. I bought a 45 last
year to target practice for something to do during retirement but now I’m glad I have it because of the recent rioting and burning exposes how unprotected we really are. The 45-caliber pistol is a people stopper. If the officer that shot Blake in Kenosha had a 45 all it would have taken was one shot. I want and need to be able to protect my family and home and the government needs to let me have that right.
NFL, MBL, NBA
One Flag, One Land, One Heart, One Nation, Ever More. While you slugs kneel down or don’t come out for the national anthem you are protesting the vary idea which allows you to do so. It’s interesting that most of you lunkheads have never served in the armed forces. Those that did have a different perspective. Those that lost loved ones in the various wars and conflicts also understand. Bobby L is not watching any of your games and by the way millions of others aren’t either.
Truck Drivers: Big Thank You!
I am absolutely amazed at the wonderful service that the truck drivers of this country provide each and every day. More essential than just about anyone. You bring us everything we need. I just don’t know how you can stand it. Spending hours in traffic jams and going through big cities at all times of the day. In the last months I, like loads of others, are getting stuff from Amazon. I had the fortune to talk to a couple of Amazon drivers when they stopped to deliver. Both had smiles and seemed happy and content. I told them they were amazing and thanked them for the delivery and their pleasantness. Champagne for all!
PS: Keep the toilet paper flowing.
Colored People or People of Color
Use the phrase “colored people” and this evokes racism. Use the term “people of color” and this is dignified and pc. White person. Person of whiteness. I see it now.
TV
As it gets cold and gray many will be looking for something else tobwatch on TV. I was a person who knew of The Big Bang Theory show but only briefly touched on it. Gladys and I have watched Young Sheldon (CBS) since it started which depicts when Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory was growing up in Texas. If you never watched it you are missing a real treat. Go to your On Demand and watch from the start. It’s the bomb. On Netflix check out Last Tango in Halifax. It was made in 2012 or 13. It’s 3 seasons long with 8 shows per season. About 56 minutes per episode. Set in England it showcases three generations from two interwoven families. Characters are really well developed with the old couple being the best part of the show. It does actually have an ending unlike a lot of these shows which get cancelled before conclusion. I just found out they are doing a fourth season on PBS. Enjoy it.
Unused Opioids
Many of us have unused opioids like Vicodin around the house when we didn’t take them all during our period of injury and pain. I know some people that have 5 or 6 bottles laying around. Before you turn them in or destroy them keep this in mind. When they haul you off to assisted living or to the nursing home, they take over dispensing your meds in daily portions. You are not allowed to have your prescriptions in monthly form with you or near you. If you rat hole your dope you can decide when you’ve had enough shit and slip out the back door on your own terms.
Something to Listen To
While you are staring off into the great oblivion because you are trapped inside you can do this. First imagine that you never heard this album before. Whatever modality you have, sit down and listen to Revolver by the Beatles. Have no interruptions. Judge the timeless sound and melodies of this record. It will make you happy. In a related matter it may be a great time to get yourself a turntable and go back to the future. Many stores offer turntables and new vinyl and old at reasonable prices. If you kept that old stereo receiver with two channel you can set up the system and enjoy. As I write this, I’m listening to Badfinger Straight Up in my basement office. Just me, Covid free, 10 courses below the ground.
Something to Eat
I found this recipe online. I’m a cooking invalid so it’s really easy. This is a sauce to be used on pork chops.
1 cup of ketchup (I bought the stuff that didn’t have high fructose corn
syrup)
1 cup of regular coke, Pepsi or other cola. I used a Mexican cola made with real sugar to be cool. When I had the bottle of soda on my counter, I built a fence made of Jell-O boxes around it to keep it from immigrating into my work area.
2 tablespoons of brown sugar. I used Beyoncé colored brown sugar.
Add salt and pepper to taste.
Whisk this stuff together in a bowl. Whisking is my favorite part of
cooking.
Take two one-inch thick pork chops and salt and pepper both sides.
Pour some of the sauce on the bottom of your cooking dish. Place both chops on top. Now cover the chops with the rest of the sauce. Put
the cover on the baking dish.
Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Bake for one hour.
Serve on rice. Don’t skimp on the sauce.
Nutritional Info: Who gives a crap.
Alternative meal: Jumbo hotdog and soda for $1.50 at Costco.
Lemon Drop Martini Recipe for your boredom
It’s very easy to make this in a large proportion. If you wish you can
pour concoction in a shaker with ice and serve in a martini glass. If
you’re a real boozer then put it in a tumbler of ice with a straw.
8 ounces of citrus (lemon) vodka. Don’t waste your money on
expensive vodka as my home expert Gladys can’t tell the difference.
8 ounces of Mr. and Mrs. T’s Sweet and Sour Mix (there are other kinds
but we like this one)
Teaspoon of lemon juice
4 small pink packets of Sweet and Low
1 ounce of water.
Stir up
Serve.
What’s nice about this is you can make a large quantity and put it in the refrigerator and it keeps for days. Keeps host from working too hard during the party. When you spill it on the counter it disinfects. Nice bonus.
Hallmark Movies
Starting October 23 rd, the new Hallmark Christmas movies are starting. They are now offering Hallmark Christmas wines to order as well. It’s just magical!
Until we meet again,
Bobby Sherpa La Douche’