THERE IS A SILENT PLAGUE AFOOT
By Bobby La Douche’
With the blistering speed of internet and 24-hour news, we are in a constant stir about North Korea, shootings, climate, politics, Russia, Trump, race, Islam, and CEO’s playing poke the monkey in their office. Yet there is something much more insidious going on in the white noise and subtle shadows of the media. It is going to be the final blow to the regular folk who have to find a reason to live. The force that drives what we see on TV and the magazines is doing the unthinkable yet you don’t realize it. The nebulous PC executives are using disgustingly normal people for their ads and commercials. Bald, fat, short, homely, pimply, and bland is on the menu. Does anyone have a John Goodman or Roseanne Barr poster in their bedroom? Day after day I see the regular people around me just making the landscape unbearable. Sometimes I have to take off my glasses to get a break. You may ask does that include you Bobby? Why yes it does. I don’t make people sick but I’m not adding to the beauty of the world, like most of you. The best way to understand this realty is to go to the Orlando airport and watch all these travelers from all over the world come and go. Wow what a mess! Perhaps 1 in 100 is actually attractive. It’s like this, I can go to the Chicago Art Museum or look at the CRAP on my refrigerator.
As adults we are acutely aware that most film and TV stars as well as models do not represent the general public. We also know that they eat once a week and probably puke that up. The 12 hours a day at the gym, Botox injections and never getting any sunshine does not appeal to me. That’s why they do what they do. Does some dipshit magazine editor have the right to give us ghastly normal or some network suck ass deliver commercials and tv shows with physically flawed actors? I am sending out notice to the ad makers, the TV execs and the magazine editors who insist on normalizing stuff that I want pretty, I want large breasts, I want handsome, I want airbrushing, I want thin, I want long legs, I want gifted, I want to be able to tell men from women, I want all things that I don’t see in my normal, mundane, run of the mill life. What don’t you understand?
Al Bundy (hero and leader of the baby boomer generation)) said it best. “Give me what I need baby!”
Bobby Trifocals La Douche’