Feel Better with CRAP
We are Crabby Retired American People (CRAP) bringing you writings that may provide you with information and observations that stimulate your little frog brain.
How-to & More
Learn how to make a good cocktail. Read a review about a movie or a new music release from someone you may like.
Movies, albums and other stuff will be graded on the time tested 1 CRAP pile to 5 CRAP piles.
Is it the end or the beginning………………?
Crap Magazine comes to you as an ending, the ending or near ending of 50 years of working, serving the wishes of others, being used, being enjoyed, being stressed, being the go to person, being the taxpayer that lets others never work, being the husband, being the dad, being the success, being the giver, being the right or wrong guy, being in love, being wrong, being a boss, being a son, being a brother, being an uncle, and being experienced in the joys and disappointments of dealing with humans.
Picture this as the food I ate through the years with CRAP Magazine as the toilet paper at the end of the alimentary canal.
I have assembled a mildly retarded (yup retarded) think tank to assist me in this endeavor. Burrhead is part of the dementia. He comes to me as a lifelong friend whom I respect and covet as a confidant. His brain was in a jar that said “Abby Normal”. Anybody who had a reel to reel tape deck in high school has to be part of this.
The third leg of the tripod is Derf Selrahc. A true entrepreneur in every sense. A well-known winemaker and winery owner. As the youngest, almost fetal member of this triangle he brings a bit of a stool softener to the Crabby Retired American People Magazine.
While there are three members with differing abilities and sensibilities I am in charge of this rag. I will answer to no one except my wife. We will comment or say whatever we want and am not very interested in whether you agree or not. I am detoxing from the fumes of 63 years of road kill.
Editor in Chief
Bobby La Douche’
A Family Christmas Story
By Bobby Syncope La Douche’ Many of the famous Christmas stories are fiction. A Christmas Carol, The Gift of the Maji, and things like A Christmas Story. Stories of conviction and sacrifice for the good of others. We watch them time and again because it is rich in...
Christmas 2022
The Good, the Bad and the Gay Dear A Listers, If you receive this Christmas letter, consider yourself in rare company. So far 2022 has been a crap pile. Have you had enough gay? Have you heard enough about puberty blockers? How about transgender? How about...
Letters to the Editor
Before we get started, I have a great joke that has an unknown author. I heard it from an unstable friend of mine (Stevo) and I laughed out loud.A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says” Hey, we have a drink named after you.” The grasshopper says “that’s...
La Douche’ Has Gender Dysphoria
By editor Bobby Estrogen La Douche’ My new pathway unfolded a few weeks ago when I was shopping at Walgreens for some Ibuprofen. For some unknown reason I was drawn to the female products aisle where I saw the panty liners and tampons. I was immersed in a feeling of...
Questions from the Audience
Questions from the Audience By Bobby Pride La Douche’ With the apparent demise of the world on the horizon I’ve consolidated important questions from my readers and will respond as best I can. Dear Bobby, Are you doing anything special for Pride...
Communication: The Key to Failure
By Bobby Anniversary La Douche’ Many people have asked me how I’ve managed to stay married for 46 years. Bobby, they say, that is quite something in this era of instant gratification and the fixation on the “me”. This little question is just the start of the...
Crapageddon
By Bobby Shitbird La Douche’ There’s a stink in the air. The smell of befoulment. Since my last publishing a plethora of crap has emerged which needs to be discussed. From the absurd to the amusing. Here be my take on it. Will Smith or Smiff depending on your speech...
Man of the Year 2022
by Bobby Lone Shark La Douche; Vladimir (Adolph) Putin is crapmagazine.com’s Man of the Century Just when you thought Adolph Hitler couldn’t be topped along comes the little man, Adolph Putin. As former head of the KGB, he is the master death and destruction. Before...
La Douche Exiled to Fat Farm
By Bobby Keto La Douche’ Gladys and I started a diet on Monday. They say stupidity is trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. This is what dieting is. It is the quintessential pain in the ass of all modern times. I’m spit balling...
2022-Questions 67 and 68
By Bobby Jethro La Douche’ We are going to discuss critical questions and facts that may help guide the ill-informed. The various questions are not set by priority just random as usual. I received this list from well-meaning fans of crapmagazine.com. Bobby: ...